too many posts about this title n i wonder y dun i post a real post about it?
y not?

well, be4 start with it, i gotta admit tat i start to hate blogger and msn messenger n skype now so, so much... cuz of their "dazzling" speed.. duh...

for whom tat may concern, im currently so, so damn enjoyin my workin-life at school, it's been great cuz i can hav a really peace mind lately in a spacious room with 60+ computers inside (not to mention keyboards, mouse,...). Besides, the whole room is air-conditioned n so cold (like me =.=) .. hmm, how to describe cold leh? em... cold till i get lot of complaints to adjust the aircorn to warmer level. get it? ok, coldie~~~
been enjoying alot since i mixed well with IT room staffs n not to mention the IT room "ah-head" (he's a bit weird.. um, soli, shud say unique, tat's y i kinda admire n like him so much >.< )
teachers are all still tat great n i stil like them..
k, tat's all for the good side.

well, now every inch of the whole school is so, so valuable till 7s2 geh students forced to study in a store room with no aircorn n damn hot. n our school have made a highest record of teacher leavin skul tis yr, bravo!! keep ur "good" work, headmaster~~
it's a no. of 24.

tat's all about my school lately. now is personal. Feel so great since my notebook's RAM bein upgrade to 1 GB, n it does boost the notebook's speed alot! really appreciate it, no more complaint~~
that's the GREATEST event happened tat i wanna highlight in tis january.
here comes all the bad things... hav been told few days be4 tat im in charge of something n kinda lecture a course, tat kept me busy all these days n i jus enjoyed it so much, really. I did all the preparation work alone n really prepared alot, more than what i've ever done be4. all my hard work ended up nothin at last since i knew tis "job" was bein umm... passed? transferred? gave? , um.. dunno, to another ppl.
i said it's nvm but deep in my heart i can hear my fire of anger started to lit..
all i have to blame is my attitude of "NEVER-SAY-NO" n "DUNNO-HOW-TO-SAY-NO" or "NEVER-REFUSE".
i mean u've asked me n i've offered to help (i was so money-minded lately n i din ask a coin from u, i do it willingly n for free, it's not part of my job too...), now u tell me my help is no longer needed? ok, may b i shud forgive u becoz of ur apology but deep in my heart i jus ain't feelin rite.. k, cant tell much.

i jus hate myself.

today went to the lab again n there's many ppl n noisy as usual. my existence seems not welcomed n in my heart i jus hav a strong feeling tat i wanna leave, for no reason. i jus let my feelin lead my life n decision now, n my feelin tells me NEVER go to the lab again.. i gotta obey after takin back my basketball tomolo from them.

tat's all for my life lately.

the title of my topic starts here, now.

too many things around me once again confirm tat im a guy tat hav to be alone for the whole life. pathetic huh? have been mixing with so many different kind of friends all this time jus wanna join diff gang n perhaps to find a gang i belong to. but sadly, none. some friends r too far from me n such a long time we didn't contact. some friends WERE too close n now i've known them kinda well till can't b fren anymore (weird huh?). some friends too close till my feelin changed from curiosity, likeness to hatred, dun-wanna-see-them. some friends tat hav not much topics in common to chat with. some friends tat ony got a damn stupid moron wil call them but they never call back (shud b taken for granted n ignore). some friends tat ONLY come to u when u r in sorrow or bad weather.
bla bla bla.. stil many more.. all "friends" mentioned WERE "quiet-close or good friends"...

filter all these friends and end up one result. if i sit right here without moving but with my phone switch on, no one will find me nor remember me. another way to explain is, i din really hav a position in those so-called friends.
it's wat i convinced myself to believe in. it's wat related to my sensitivity of everythin.

have brought my basketball to skul on 3rd Jan. hav a very strong feeling to play basketball but till now, today, NONE of frens tat i've asked makes my dream comes true. decided to play it alone now. so damn disappointed. not jus becoz they r my fren, it's mainly wat to do wif PROMISE.

life for the following months will be torturing i know, much more torturing. cuz now i only got teachers to chat with, oh.. n computers of course..

i've tried to convince myself tat the more pathetic life im leading, the better life "friends" around me will be happy. cuz i believe it's called sacrifice-own-happiness-n-give-it-to-others. tat's the way it shud b may b. something tat i've done tat make me hav to pay so much.

i start to feel tis blog has been my worst, ugliest creation in my life. it's ugly. nothin left but ugly.

when someone can't get anythin great or an1 quan2 gan3 (someone tell me the translation pls...) from either family or friends, MONEY is wat can make them feel comfortable. im in tis situation rite now. i've been askin y i wan so much money rite now, y i wanna earn so much money now, but i've come to answers. now i know y. cuz it's the only thing tat's great left in my life. MONEY can BUY ANYTHING really.. time n gan3 qing2 (relationship ah?) .. all can b bought by money. too tired to explain now cuz im tired n sleepy.

glad tat i can once again sit right here patiently typing lot of words.

i've learned one thing now for sure : how to hate people.